MARRIAGE FORGIVENESS

MARRIAGE FORGIVENESS

      Forgive and forget. That’s what we often hear. But it’s easier said than done.

      You could easily say "it’s alright" to someone who might have done wrong to you. But, after deep reflection, you might be surprised to find out that you have been "collecting" these little "hurts" over the years.

       In a relationship as sacred as marriage, forgiveness is very important. You can forgive the offense, but you can not forget the person.

What forgiveness means in a marriage?

      To forgive is to make a very difficult decision. It is made even more difficult because you have to decide while you are hurting. Resolve to forgive everyday as the hurt fades.

      Pain is unavoidable, all the more because we humans are prone to error. Don’t think of forgiveness as a cover up for the pain. Rather, understand that it is a tool to deal with pain. Since marriage is meant to be forever, be glad that you have a tool to deal with life’s pains that you are sure to experience in the course of your life together.

      Realize this: people who hurt for long periods of time are people who refuse to forgive. Forgiveness is what fights the hurt so it won’t enslave us and do us anymore harm than it already has.

      Forgiveness is not something you and/or your partner need to work hard for. You don’t use old faults and hold them against your partner. You don’t use them for emotional blackmail. This only shows you haven’t learned to forgive.

      Be honest. If you are hurt, don’t hide that you are hurt. It may lead your partner to believe he/she has done no wrong, and does not need to be forgiven. Marriage is about love, intimacy and understanding. This means sharing what you truly feel. Admitting that you are hurt is a step towards healing.

      Forgiveness is also the tool that "cleans" your "slate" and allows you to start over. Without it, the incident will persist to exist and you will never be able to move on and start anew.

       Finally, realize that you and/or your partner need to be forgiven, even if you (or your partner) feel like your partner (or you) don’t deserve it. If forgiveness is deserved, then no one has to ever ask for forgiveness, right? Asking and needing to be forgiven can help in the healing process.

SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS SECRETS

SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS SECRETS

Each partner tries to find his or her own happiness

      One of the important ingredients of a happy and successful relationship is that the couple knows how to find their own happiness, both individually and as partners. A successful couple knows how to respect each one’s happiness and allows each one to pursue them. A successful relationship is not restrictive to a point where one partner only deserves to be happy.

They realize they do not know everything

      A successful couple does not boast of knowing everything there is about the relationship and how to keep it going. They know that there are times that they will fight and get into arguments. They know their shortcomings and continue to work on them together. In a way, it becomes a never-ending quest to maintain a successful relationship. It makes the couple keep working to be better and happier with each other.

They hold true to their promise

      Successful couples also put trust and honesty at the forefront of their relationship. They seek to fulfill what they promise to one another. When a partner says that he or she will do something, the promise is always good as gold, so to speak. Each partner wants to maintain that value of trust on the other.

They do not always resolve everything before going to bed

      There is a long-standing advice about relationships that couples should not go to bed without resolving their arguments and fights. But in reality, successful couples sometimes go to bed angry. There are some arguments that are just not worth fighting for.

There are fights that some couples get into out of stress, frustration and a bad mood. Some fights are so petty that they are not worth all that attention. Couples try to sleep over it instead of finding a solution all through the night. They realize that when they wake up, they no longer remember how the fight started. They make and talk over a cup of coffee and are in good terms all over again. Successful couples know that these kinds of situations normally happen and they know how to address them as a couple.

      There are many secrets to a successful relationship. Although they may be different from one relationship to another, they all have one thing in common- couples work hard to maintain the success they enjoy in their relationship. Here are some tips that may help you attain what some successful couples have achieved in a long-term relationship.

LEAVE YOUR PAST BEHIND YOU

LEAVE YOUR PAST BEHIND YOU

        Past relationships should be left where they are- in the past. People who keep reliving past relationships may fall into the trap of not being able to move on. This can seriously harm or do a lot of damage to current or future relationships. Although past relationships may give you fond memories of how happy you once were, it should not be used as an excuse why you can’t establish new relationships with other people.

    People should have to learn how to leave a past relationship behind and move on. The past is something that you can no longer change. You should use past relationships to strengthen and reinforce your current one. But in no way should you try to compare a past relationship or try to bring it back or even relive it. You must learn to let go and move on. Try to keep in mind the lessons learned and be wiser not to make the same mistakes again.

     The best way to learn to let go of a past relationship is by telling yourself that it is over. Trying to pine for hope that the past can still be rebuilt will lead you no where but further despair and frustration. Once a past relationship has ended, make sure that you put a period on it and let it go. It may not be easy, but you should be determined enough to do so if ever you wish to establish another relationship with someone.

    Past relationships may leave some objects that might remind you of what once was. It is better if you try to keep these objects well hidden if you do not wish to dispose of them. Try to gather the items that might remind you of a past relationship and try to place it in a separate box and label it as so. You will have better chances of leaving behind a past relationship if you have gotten rid of the objects around you that might remind you of it.

    Leaving a past relationship can take time. There might still be wounds that need to heal. Time should be given for healing and for the pain to subside. During this time of healing, it is wise not to jump right into another relationship. Instead, try to give it a break by keeping busy with other things such as work or doing your hobbies. Give yourself some time to enjoy time alone or with friends and family. This will not only help you fully heal the damage done by a soured relationship in the past but also make you ready to go into another relationship with a better perspective.

     A soured relationship in the past is not something that you should be a burden to you. People go through them all of the time. You are not alone with the pains and the hurt that you may have suffered. But the suffering should only be temporary. You should learn to let go and leave it behind. Don’t try to let it bother you for the rest of your life. Learning to let go and move on will open for you new doors towards establishing a better relationship with someone else in the future.

QUESTION SHOULD ASK BEFORE GETTING MARRIAGE

QUESTION SHOULD ASK BEFORE GETTING MARRIAGE

Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that couples should consider asking:

• Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
• Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
• Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
• Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
• Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
• Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
• Will there be a television in the bedroom?
• Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
• Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
• Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
• Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
• What does my family do that annoys you?
• Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
• If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
• Do each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?

HOW TO SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

HOW TO SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Maintain a high level of respect for each other

     Sometimes a long relationship can lead to problems as both partners get too comfortable with each other. They can fall into the trap of eventually losing a certain level of respect for each other. Once that happens, arguments and shouting matches become more common. It will lead to a point where respect for each other is eventually lost. To keep your relationship strong, do not forget to maintain a level of respect towards each other befitting someone you value in your life.

Physical affection is always important

      Sometimes words are not just enough. That is why physical affection and intimacy is always important for any relationship. If you can’t say it in words, show it with hugs and kisses. It can do wonders to any relationship of both partners get their regular dose of physical affection. It helps promote better closeness between the couple and develop a special kind of intimacy that only both of them share.

Communicate face to face

      One problem with many relationships today is that they can get quite accustomed to communicating using the many gadgets available or online. Leading busy lives can sometimes leave couples to communicate this way. Personal communication is still important. Making it a point to see each other and have conversations face to face always trump other communication means. This is especially essential when talking about very important issues about the relationship.

Think before you speak

      Many arguments and conflicts arise because of hurtful words that a partner says impulsively to the other due to uncontrolled emotions. These are words that can be avoided if one just took some time to think before blurting them out. A couple should realize that even words could do considerable damage to the relationship if they are spoken with the intent to hurt. Couples should learn to speak with care, their meaning clear and will not cause pain to a partner. Thinking before speaking will help prevent many conflicts easily.

     Every relationship is valuable and worth fighting for. No one would like to fail at any relationship unless they are not serious about it. Some people may experience certain trials in one way or another that will test the relationship. How couples can get over such obstacles will determine if the relationship will last.

     Couples need to be strong and patient when they try to maintain a lasting relationship. But more than that, they need to take care of it be making sure that they avoid doing things that may cause harm to bond. Here are some simple, no-nonsense tips that can help strengthen any relationship.

Technology Can Damage Relationships

           The success of relationships depends on the two people that take care of it, but there can be outside factors that can contribute to its demise. Technology is just one of them.

          We now live in a world where technology has made quite an impact in almost all aspects of our lives, it has the ability to make life more convenient. 

          But at the same time, technology also added other complications, some of the things that we never needed before became more and more essential to everyday life, we never needed to stay online several years ago, But now, people just cannot go by without going online even for just a day. 

         Sometimes, the convenience also becomes a burden at the same time. It is also the same with how technology can have an effect on relationships, While technology can help provide some conveniences, it may also affect a relationship in a negative way.

          In this world of Facebook, Twitter, emails and mobile phones, people may think that the different modes of communication today will help add a certain level of closeness to the relationship, however, according to a recent study, it may do just the opposite. 

         The more channels of communication that couples use, the more it may do damage to a relationship, In this era of digital communication and online social networks, the different means of communication and the number of communication threads to maintain them may have a negative impact on a primary relationship.

         In the said study by Oxford researchers over 24,000 participants in marital relationships took part. The participants have access to using 10 different communication channels available today.

The researchers found out that the more communication channels that couples use did not translate to their relationship becoming even stronger. On the contrary, those who reported using more communication channels even reported decreasing satisfaction in their relationships.

        The study indicates that the increasing number of communication channels available today can only help relationships up to a certain point. 

After a certain time, their use may become too overwhelming that it may start to undermine other important relationships.

      Couples should still know what their priority is and where their loyalties lie, they need to realize that maintaining different communication lines may reach a point where they begin to have a negative impact to a relationship, they need to be aware that use of technology may have a certain limit and they should not try to go beyond that.

FROM : DATINGTIPS.COM